Living a life full of purpose and meaning is a process of coming to terms with life as it is, not as you wish it to be. This is the state of havingness. Being in havingness is accepting, with gratitude, the fullness of your life, just as it is, right here, right now, including the not so good parts.
Can you “have” your current life, with all its up and downs, or are you resisting it?
Resistance is a sign of pulling away, of not accepting what is. And in this act of separating from what is, we sometimes fall into the energy of drama and victimhood.
As an example, as we drive to work each morning we think, “I hate my job, I hate my boss. I am angry, and I don’t want to go to work.” Grumble, grumble, grumble. As we think these thoughts, we are sending out the vibration of “I’m not happy now, I don’t have peace of mind now, and I’m not in joy today.” We cannot have our current state of affairs which is being in a tug of war with our boss and our job. We are in resistance to it, and what we know for sure is what we resist, persists.
Resistance shows up when you feel that pull to dig in your heels and stubbornly refuse to budge. The energy of resistance acts like glue keeping us stuck in place, preventing us from moving on. So how do we move out of resistance? How do we move into the energy of accepting what is and let go of the anger, resentment, and hostility?
One of the easiest ways of moving out these low-level energies is by using your energy tools. Ground out that stubbornness, smash your anger to smithereens, blow up a rose for victimhood. And after all of that, fill in with a golden sun of gratitude, acceptance and detachment.
We are not our circumstances! And once we can separate from what is happening to us, we begin to move into the energy of “havingness”; accepting what is while wanting more.
In the example above, your boss has not changed at all, but you, in your neutral state of detachment, have shifted your perspective. Your attitude is different. Instead of being angry and bitter, which has a lower vibration, you’ve shifted your emotions to the higher vibrational frequency of allowance and appreciation. You have removed yourself from the drama, and through neutrality, you can stand back and look at the circumstances in a completely new light.
You may find that you can accept your boss just the way she is, without judgment or criticism. You may not condone her behaviors and you may not even like her – but you can accept her exactly as she is, with neutrality. That is moving from resistance to acceptance. That is havingness.
I hope you will consider adding Tame Your Inner Critic to your must-read list. There are over 40 exercises and meditations that help you bust through resistance so you may claim what’s rightfully yours – a life full of peace, inner contentment and happiness.