I had tea with a couple of friends not long ago, and we talked about mindfulness and what it means to be in the present moment. My friend Nancy lives each moment of her life with no regrets. At that particular moment, she was enjoying our friendship and the tea. She was present with our conversation, not worrying about her upcoming meeting or her to-do list. She said everything she wanted to say, leaving nothing out, not censoring her thoughts or comments as we conversed. Then, when she departed, she left us totally, moving on to the next thing in her day. Nancy did not carry with her the “could-a, would-a, should-a” from our conversation. She left it all right on the table when she left.
This is such a vivid description of mindfulness and living your life in the present moment. Energetically Nancy was totally in her body, in the center of her head, operating at full potency. She was comfortable enough in her own skin that she could say what she needed to say irrespective of her inner critic. Her fifth chakra (communication) was open and clear, allowing her to express herself fully. And then, when that moment was complete, she moved on. Just like that. No regrets.
Living life with no regrets is staying in the vibration of now. You are completely here, in the present moment, not looking outside for validation. You know that you are fine just the way you are. You have calmed your inner critic, and the voices of internal judgment have quieted. You may be better now at not judging yourself. But what about other people?
When you stand in judgment of another person, you send out a vibration of nonacceptance. You do not see other people as they are, right now, in present time. Instead, you hold an expectation, a judgment, of how they should be, what they should say, how they should react. In addition, when they do not live up to your expectation, you judge them as being wrong, uncaring, or as not holding your same values. You invalidate them. You do not see them for who they are, in the present tense, you see them as you think they should be.
And you know what that energy feels like. When someone throws invalidation energy your way, it reduces you, making you feel small and unworthy. The type of energy you send out into the world is reflected back to you, just like a boomerang. If you send out judgmental energy, you will get judgment thrown back in your direction. Surrounded with an internal dialogue of invalidation, criticism, and self-judgment, you will attract more of that energy into your space.
Loving yourself for who you are right now is the key. As you treat yourself, so will other people treat you. If you accept yourself for who you are right here, right now, then you stand in a vibration of nonjudgment. Holding the thought of compassion, for others and yourself, you allow people to be who they are without expectation. That is living a life from a state of mindfulness, and as Nancy, a life of no regrets.
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