how to have a simple life Archives

Demanding Too Much (of yourself)

25 August, 2014 — Posted in: Simplicity Leave a Comment

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“Just do your best to keep yourself in balance. One of the first things that cause energy misalignment, is asking or demanding too much of yourself in terms of time and effort. In other words, you just cannot burn the candle at both ends, so that you are physically tired, and then expect yourself to have a cheerful attitude. So, the rule of thumb has to be: “I’m going to be very, very, very happy, and then do everything I have time to do after that.”— Abraham

So, the question becomes what are you doing to make yourself “very, very, very happy”? Or I should re-phrase that – you don’t have to “do” anything – you need to think it, feel it, allow it, and then it will be.

So are you putting your happiness first? Part of living a life of simplicity and ease is giving yourself permission to be first in your life. Checking in with your priorities, saying no, finding a balance between giving to others and giving to yourself.

One way to do this is to be aware of the present moment.

Look around you, see the room you are sitting in, look out the window and see what’s going on in the world around you. Take three deep breaths and just be aware.

Be thankful, be happy, and be grateful for all that you have right now. Say a soft “thank you” for all the blessings of your day. Now feel it. Sit in that state of gratitude for just a moment longer…..Don’t you feel softer, calmer, happier?

Now allow it – say to yourself, “Yes! Life is good in so many ways…” and allow it to be so.

As Abraham says, “be very, very, very happy and then do everything you have time to do after that”. So now think about what you want to get accomplished in the next hour. Doesn’t it feel easier and lighter and don’t you feel more energized and more willing to get to it?

I think it makes a good mantra: Be happy first; the rest will fall into place. We choose our own reality every minute of every day, and I choose happiness. What about you?

The final days of summer are upon us. Soon we will be ruled by after-school activities, end-of-calendar-year job deadlines, and that precariously poised thing called “work-life balance”. This summer we’ve asked ourselves the question: “How do we live this summertime easy breezy lifestyle all year long?” Simplicity in all things has been the theme of the past few months. Ridding our mind body and spirit of clutter so that we can hear, and act upon, our soul’s yearnings. Before we leave our summer of simplicity, let’s figure out how to take this feeling-state of ease, play and no effort with us.

What will we do differently? How will we behave differently? What will keep us from falling back into our past state of rushing frantically from one activity to another? Take the time now to answer these questions. Be consciously aware of how you choose to live your life – today and in the coming months. Have we listened to our soul’s yearning? And if we have, what will we take with us as we leave the carefree world of sandals, tee shirts and lemonade? Subscribe – Stay in Touch

Keeping Drama Energy at Bay

19 July, 2014 — Posted in: Simplicity Leave a Comment

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I have a friend that I love dearly, but she’s constantly stirring up drama. Either something just happened to her or she’s talking about what’s happened to someone else. I found that I was at a loss as to how to respond. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, because when she’s not in drama like this she’s really fun to be around. Yet for me, a main ingredient of living simply is leaving all the drama behind. I don’t need to know who did what to whom and how so and so feels about it. That’s their business, not mine!

So I’ve done two things: first and foremost, I don’t engage in a dialog when she starts in with the rumors and the gossip. I will not participate, and she knows it. I’ve told her so. That was hard, but honest.

As she said to me the other day, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I need to say it, so I will and I don’t expect a response from you.” Whew! I was released from any responsibility to feel as she does and I could just be her sounding board and allow her to release.

The second thing I do is use my energy tools. I do this with everyone, but especially when I’m surrounded by drama. I use what I call a separation rose to keep the drama energy at bay.

As my friend begins her drama drop, I visualize placing an image of a giant red rose right out in the space between the two of us. I imagine all the drama words, all the energy of judgment of others and criticism going right into that rose. I just watch as the image of the rose fills up with all of her words, thoughts and feelings. None of that energy comes into my space, it all goes into the rose.

When the rose gets so big and full that it’s almost bursting at the seams, I watch it explode and a new rose takes its place. Sometimes I’m so busy watching the rose that I lose track of the conversation. I may be nodding my head or giving her a half smile, but I’m not engaging in the exchange of drama energy.

This works well for both of us – she can vent but I don’t have to take in the venting energies!

And before we part and go our separate ways I do one more thing. I fill in with a golden sun of energies of my choosing. I imagine a golden sun above my head and fill that golden sun with my own life force energy. Then I imagine filling that golden sun with energies that are just to my liking. I might ask for the energies of peace, tranquility, non-judgment and goodwill to fill up that sun. When the golden sun is big and full, I imagine popping it and having all those energies flow down into the top of my head and flow throughout my body and my energy field. I feel those energies of peace, joy, contentment all the way down to the tips of toes and edges of my aura.

As we part company, I am filled up with ME and only me. I carry none of that drama energy away with me.

This is simplicity – simply being me, filled up to the brim and overflowing with energies I choose.

If you want more information on some of the tools mentioned in this blog post, Subscribe to the newsletter. Twice a month I send out more information on the topic at hand, helping you live a life full of joy and purpose.

Is More Really Better?

5 July, 2014 — Posted in: Simplicity Leave a Comment

In his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff, author Richard Carlson, Ph.D., writes about simplicity and living an authentic life. He says, “…as long as you think more is better, you’ll never be satisfied.” He goes on to say that the problem isn’t in the wanting, but in the longing for more.

We’ve become a culture of striving, craving, rushing and running after. We crave the newest fashion, we lust after the newest most technically advanced laptop, or phone, or TV. We spend our money on lattes and designer chocolates all the while complaining that we’re “not there yet”. We haven’t made it. Is more really better?

Dr. Carlson ends this particular essay with the wise words, “An excellent measure of happiness is the differential between what you have and what you want. You can spend your lifetime wanting more, always chasing happiness – or you can simply decide to consciously want less. The later strategy is infinitely easier and more fulfilling.”

We’ve talked about this in a previous post on havingness (here). Yet it’s worth repeating because it’s a difficult concept to grasp. We’ve been taught to go after, to strive, to yearn for, that which we don’t have. We’ve been taught that it’s about the doing – the actively seeking -that brings us happiness.So we spend our days acquiring more things in the hopes that these things will bring us the happiness we seek.

But if we realize that nothing is lacking, if our days are filled with thoughts of appreciation, gratitude, prosperity and abundance, then we send out a strong signal to the Universe: I’m happy just the way I am, full of appreciation and prosperity. That doesn’t mean we can’t want more – that’s still possible.

It’s changing the frequency with which we want that’s the key.

To lead a simple life to me is to live a life without striving and craving. Yes I can have more things, but when I ask myself if I really want them, I find that I’m happy just the way I am right here, right now.

Spend some time today thinking about the differential between what you have and what you want. Is more always better?

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