Mindfulness is learning to accept yourself and others exactly as they are with compassion and grace. As you release all judgments and expectations, you enter the vibration of forgiveness: for giving space. You learn to give yourself, and those around you, some room to grow, some room to be just the way they are, right now, at this moment. In this space of forgiveness, you are not condoning another’s behavior, nor are you judging the “whats” or the “whys.” You are allowing it to be, and that’s all.

Being in this space of forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons to learn. It requires you to look at your world with gentleness, patience, and understanding. You do this as you enter the vibration of accepting all that is. Compassion is a very high vibration, full of kindness, understanding, and patience. Here, you stand apart from value statements, judgments, condemnations, and expectations. You give space to those around you to be, just as they are, right here, and right now. Moreover, you give space to yourself to be just who you are at this moment.

Think of someone who stirs up lots of emotions and feelings for you. You want to give this person space to be exactly who they are, but there’s a lot of resistance energy running through your body.

Remember that forgiveness is about giving space to that person as well as to yourself. It is not about condoning behavior; it is about acceptance—that is all. If you are ready to take a step towards forgiveness, then continue on with the following meditation.

Exercise: The Blue Room Meditation of Forgiveness

1.   Sit in a comfortable chair in a room where you will not be disturbed. Keep your feet flat on the floor, eyes closed. Take some deep, cleansing breaths, and bring all of your awareness to the energy surrounding you. Intend for the energy of peace and calm to envelop you in a cocoon of safety and acceptance.

2.   Bathe your throat chakra in sky-blue energy, intending this energy to open your throat and allow you to communicate all your thoughts and emotions, completely and clearly.

3.   Imagine yourself seated in a room filled with this same expansive blue energy. The walls are blue the floor is blue, and the air surrounding you is tinted blue. You are sitting in one chair, and there is another chair directly across from you. See that chair. Notice any sensations that arise in your body. Acknowledge those sensations, breathe, and intend to remain in a calm, neutral vibration.

4.   The person you would like to forgive will soon occupy that empty chair. Notice any feelings of resentment or stories about the hurts and humiliations that arise in your body. Stop for a moment and ask those feelings to leave your aura. Feel calm, clear, and ready to move on. Take as long as you need to clear the emotions and return to a neutral state of being.

5.   When you are ready, see the person come into this blue room and sit across from you in the empty chair. See that person. Notice if he or she feels a little apprehensive or scared. Maybe they hesitate before taking a seat. Maybe there’s a scowl on their face, or their fists are clenched.

6.   Notice how you feel as you watch this person. If you observe some sensations arising in your body, then stop and assess. Imagine those thoughts, feelings, and sensations draining down to the center of the earth. Intend for your body to be relaxed and for the words to flow smoothly from your throat.

7.   Now speak to this person about what is on your mind. Say it all. Tell them how you feel. Feel yourself communicating every single bit of information that you want to share. They will be able to respond in a moment, but for now, the floor is all yours. Say it all. Get it out.

8.   And if, by chance, you are ready to forgive and are willing to allow this person to be just as he or she is right now, then repeat the following phrases aloud:

•   I forgive myself, and I forgive you (say their name) for any past wrongdoings and words said in haste or with malice.

•   I forgive myself, and I forgive you for any and all hurts.

•   I look at myself, and I look at you (say their name) with eyes full of compassion and understanding.

•   I value myself, with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, and I value you (say their name) with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies.

•   I give myself space to be who I was meant to be, and I give you (say their name) space to be who you were meant to be.

•   I love myself, and I love you (say their name).

9.   After repeating these phrases, allow the other person a chance to speak. Hear all that he or she has to say to you. Maybe they will share something that will surprise you.

10.   When you feel complete, see the other person rise from the chair and leave the room. Sit for a moment in silence and feel this blue room filled with compassion and grace. When you are ready, leave the blue room, returning to the center of your head. Allow yourself a moment or two of validation. Then open your eyes and come out of meditation.

[END EXERCISE]

For Giving Space. Allowance. Nonjudgment. Compassion. Grace. The thoughts and feelings you send out into the world are traceable to circumstances in your life. Be a beacon of kindness and gentleness. How you treat others is how others will treat you. Give others the space to be, and they will give you the space to be who-you-really-are.    

This blue room meditation is a powerful example of the tools and meditations found in Tame Your Inner Critic. I f you would like to learn to ground, blow roses, and tap out the energies that are keeping you from living a life full of joy and purpose, then download the first three chapters, free. Join us in learning more and delving deeper. 

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