How does your body respond when you hear the word intimacy? Are you tight and guarded? Did your body tense up? Could you feel your heart close down, and your belly tighten up?
Intimacy is a delicate internal dance of vulnerability and inner strength. When you see yourself clearly and know yourself well, you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. This level of internal intimacy allows you to move towards allowing others to see the full you; into me see.
One of the hardest lessons for me has been to like all parts of me – my body and my personality. There’s always something wrong – a lumpy bumpy part that I’m ashamed of, or a jiggly, wiggly part that I hide. I’m not well versed in showing anger or displeasure, and I often hide my darker feelings under a cover of socially acceptable platitudes and niceties. I don’t know how to be me all day, every day.
During the past month, we’ve been talking about havingness: our ability to be comfortable with our present circumstances while simultaneously knowing that we can have more. If we are in resistance to our present circumstance, we vibrate at a frequency of not enough or less than, and from this frequency we magnetize to us matching energies. While we vibrate in resistance to what is, it’s hard to take a step towards something new, in this case, liking all parts of me. And of course, it’s difficult to be intimate, to fully appreciate anyone else if you can’t appreciate yourself!
So, I practice being me – fully. I consciously work at accepting all parts of me, even those secret parts that I hide from view. I use my tools often to remove the stories of me not liking me. I tap it out, befriend it, blow up a rose. As I blow up the stories of not good enough, less than, not pretty enough, not prepared enough, I give myself permission to be accept and like all parts of me.
One of my favorite exercises is the mirror exercise. It really helps me learn to relax and allow me to see me.
The Eyes are Mirrors to the Soul
- Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. Look deep, look for a long time. What do you see? Do you see your soul?
- Now become aware of your internal dialog. Cast aside the negativity and find one thing that you can admire about your body or your personality. Concentrate on that as you continue to look deeply at yourself.
- Drink it in. Become enamored with you! You are a child of God. Find that spark of pure awareness locked deep within your soul and say hello to it. Recognize it. That’s all. Just say, “Hi, I see you.”
- That’s all you have to do. Now put the mirror away and remember what you saw. Carry it with you for the rest of your day. Accept that you are just right the way you are, and that your soul knows more than your mind will allow about your beauty and your uniqueness.
As you come to know and love yourself, you will emit vibrations, thoughts and feelings that will magnetize to you people and events that are in alignment with the truest, deepest level of your Spirit. This is real intimacy, seeing each other in present time and communicating with each other in present time, without judgment or prejudice. Just as it is, right here, right now.
Thanks for being a part of this journey of discovery – finding ways to live our lives on purpose and in a meaningful way. If this post resonated with you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps me reach more people who crave support in being as kind to themselves as they are to others. So glad you’re here!