Mindfulness Archives - Della Temple

Present Moment Awareness: Seeing the Beauty in All Things

25 November, 2014 — Posted in: Mindfulness Leave a Comment

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For the past two months, here and in the newsletter, we have been talking about mindfulness. Leaving our autopilot days behind, we consciously tune into the life we are living. We as we do so, our life experiences are richer and fuller.

There are many definitions of mindfulness, but I think my favorite is Jon Kabat-Zinn’s: “Mindfulness is the awareness that comes when we pay attention – on purpose – in the present moment, while suspending judgment.”

Living a mindful life is not about attaining goal after goal; it’s about how we behave and what we experience as we are living each day. Yes, goals are important, but if we concentrate too much on the prize, we miss the beauty of each day.

Living this way is not all that difficult. We have energy tools that help us live each day with present mind awareness. As we bring our awareness to the center of our head, we are allowing all of our life force to be focused on the current moment. We are not scattered or multi-tasking; we are fully conscious of our present moment. In addition, as we ground to the earth we become even more present, more connected to the here and now.

One of the most profound mindfulness lessons for me has been around judgment. Judging others and judging myself. If we learn to release all judgments, allowing our friends, family and strangers we meet on the street, to be just as they are, without exception, we allow ourselves to be exactly who we are too.

Making present moment awareness a habit changes your perspective. It allows you to be engaged in your life from the inside. You are not searching outside of yourself for answers, you are going within and finding the treasure that awaits for you in the present moment awareness of now. Taking a breath and engaging in the present moment gives you a moment of clarity. It’s an opportunity to take a quick mental inventory and make a choice. Peace or chaos. Happy or mad. Serene or sad. You always have a choice in how you view life.

Choose to be mindfully aware and consciously present.

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. It’s a time of friends, family, and community gathering together in gratitude for one another and for all that life brings. Take some time today to be mindfully present for your family members. Listen for the intent behind the words, the feelings of their heart. Try not to rush to judgment. Instead, be fully present today, paying attention to your present moment.

Mindfulness: Peace Within Yourself

20 November, 2014 — Posted in: Mindfulness Leave a Comment

Mindfulness: Peace Within Yourself. Listening with the ear of our heart – Oprah and Thich Nhat Hanh discuss how the practice of mindfulness brings peace within yourself.

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change” Thích Nhất Hạnh

No judging, just awareness. It’s as simple as that. Starting with your breath and keeping your awareness there tune in to your surroundings. Be in gratitude for all that life brings your way, even the lettuce that isn’t growing well. It is as it is. Just understanding. And with that understanding – that awareness – comes compassion and love – and that affects how you perceive the situation.

Awareness first, then choice. That’s finding the peace within.

A Mindfulness Break: What Really Matters?

15 November, 2014 — Posted in: Mindfulness Leave a Comment

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How many times have we allowed ourselves to be pulled into dealing with the things that matter least?

Our cell phones, our televisions, our emails, can distract us from the present moment. Their call is piercing and insistent. These distractions are a magnet calling us away from our present moment – our child’s question, our spouse’s needs, our inner yearnings and churnings.

When we are not paying attention to the present moment, we are absent from our life. Mindfulness is a way to fully experience ourselves and our world. As we quiet the mind and go within, we practice noticing how we feel in any given moment, making contact with our Spirit, our highest and best self.

We ask ourselves, “How am I doing, really? How’s it going right now? What is the most important feeling I am experiencing right now?

You don’t need to do a formal meditation for this to be effective. You can sit down right where you are, for one minute, close your eyes, and breathe. Mindfulness is about feeling where you are right now.

Mindfulness Break
1. Close your eyes, turn away from your computer and just breathe. In and out. In and out. Notice if you are grounded to the earth. If not, then put on a new grounding cord and feel your body sink deeper into the chair as you release some tension from your body. Feel all the tension leave your shoulders, your neck and move down your back, and be pulled down to the center of the earth.

2. Bring all of your awareness to the center of your head. Feel that space between your ears, behind your eyes. Allow all your focus to be centered right there. Breathe.

3. Then, as you sit quietly, you might notice that there’s a longing in your heart, or an emotion surfacing in your stomach or your throat. You don’t need to do anything about whatever it is that you find. The goal isn’t to figure out a plan or to allow the emotion to take over, but rather to check in with how it is to be you –right here, right now.

4. Say hello to that energy, that emotion. That’s all. Allowing the emotion or the longing to be there that’s the most important part. Validate exactly where you are right now.

5. Breathe. Can you name that emotion or feeling? That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to fix it, or come up with a plan of action. Just be aware that’s all.

6. When you are ready, open your eyes.

This mindfulness break allows you to bring your awareness back to your present time reality. From this space of awareness, you can consciously choose the action that is in alignment with your present time needs. You are without judgment, fully aware, fully alive and experiencing.

This is mindfulness in action.

Mindfulness is being consciously aware of your present moment. The past is the past, the future has yet to be written, but right here, right now, is where we experience life. Being present to that experience without judgment is mindfulness. And from that space of presence we live a richer, fuller life. Every two weeks or so I send out additional information via email about the topic at hand. Subscribe and come with us on this journey of discovery – uncovering the essence of who you truly are. Blessings!

Having Difficult Conversations Mindfully

10 November, 2014 — Posted in: Mindfulness Leave a Comment

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In Asian languages, the word for mind and the word for heart are the same. So if you’re not hearing mindfulness in some deep way as heartfulness, you’re not really understanding it. Compassion and kindness towards oneself are intrinsically woven into it. You could think of mindfulness as wise and affectionate attention.” Jon Kabut-Zinn

The practice of mindfulness can change the way we relate with the people in our lives, especially when it’s necessary to have what I call a difficult conversation.

Difficult conversations are just a part of life. Maybe you may need to have a talk with one of your coworkers or explain to your teenager why he’s grounded. Whatever the situation, you can use a few energy tools to set the space before you have a conversation, making it easier to give your wise and affectionate, full attention to the conversation.

Exercise: Mindfulness in Difficult Conversations

1. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine yourself in the center of your head—between your ears, behind your eyes. Be in the present moment, clearing any thoughts and emotions from your space.

2. Think of that moment in the future when you will have the difficult discussion. Bring to mind the feeling state that you want to have as you walk into the room. Maybe you want to speak with compassion and empathy. Maybe your intent is for the conversation to be truthful, concise and clear. Feel into your heart, deep down behind the emotional charge to the true feeling state that you want to express.

3. Now, use your energy tools to set your body and aura to a vibrational match with the message you would like to convey. See your heart filled with compassion and empathy. See your throat chakra open, allowing you to converse in a clear, concise, heart-felt manner.

4. Imagine a bubble floating in front of your closed eyes representing that moment. See the colors form in the bubble. These colors represent the energy that you and other people have unconsciously set for this time. Maybe there is some dread or frustration energy in the bubble. Whatever you see, this is the energy currently resonating with this future meeting. However, it does not have to go that way. You can change the vibration of that future event right now. You can set the intent of a future event well in advance, knowing that when the moment comes, your energy will flow in a vibrational match.

5. Look again at the bubble in front of you representing this future difficult conversation. Give the bubble a grounding cord. Imagine the dread and frustration leaving that bubble. Watch it drain through the grounding cord.

6. Now add some colors and thoughts to the bubble that represent the qualities you prefer. Maybe you add a color or thought of clarity, calm, and understanding. Set the intention that this moment in time will have affinity with everyone present and that all parties to the conversation come away with clarity, or truth, or whatever qualities will benefit everyone’s growth. See this bubble full of light, clear colors.

7. Now remove the grounding cord and allow this bubble to drift off into the cosmos, knowing that you have set your intention for this future event.

8. Right before you begin your difficult conversation, imagine your grounding cord around your hips, and set it on maximum release. Cover your aura in its protective coating, knowing that this will help you stay within your space and prevent others from entering yours. Open your throat chakra.

9. Intend to communicate all that you want to say, clearly and completely. Bring all of your awareness to the center of your head. Intend to be fully present in the conversation, listening for the deeper message from the other person.

10. Intend for your body and Spirit to be joined together in present time awareness, without judgment.

11. Now, as you enter the conversation, be in mindful awareness, fully present, offering your careful attention to the moment.

[END EXERCISE]

This heart-centered approach to conversing means letting go of any preconceived ideas of goals or objectives. You are meeting the person where they are, with an open mind and heart. It’s about empathizing and hearing the meaning underneath the words they are speaking.

Your responses are gentle, thoughtful and full of empathy and caring, without judgment and without the need to offer “shoulds” or criticism.

It’s about speaking from a place of truth, with compassion and gentleness. While this example has been about having a difficult conversation, don’t you think it would work well every time you converse with someone?

If you want more information on some of the tools mentioned in this blog post, download the first three chapters of the upcoming book: Tame Your Inner Critic. Learn to ground, blow roses, and tap out the energies that are keeping you from living a life full of joy and purpose. Join us in learning more and delving deeper.

Spilled Coffee and Amusement

5 November, 2014 — Posted in: Mindfulness Leave a Comment

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Have you ever had a day like this? As you sip your first cup of coffee, you think, “Today is going to be a good day. I feel great; the kids are still sleeping, and I have an easy day at work.” You sigh a sigh of gratitude, smile to yourself and then…..well, you know, life starts happening. Maybe you spill coffee all over your only ironed shirt; or your partner says something at breakfast that breaks your mood. For whatever reason, peace and contentment are nowhere to be seen, and you have no idea how to them back.

Practicing mindfulness may help you regain your equilibrium and return you to that feeling-state of peace and contentment. Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad.

As you look down at your shirt front covered in coffee, instead of dropping into the emotion of “OMG, I’ve just ruined my shirt; I don’t know what’s left to wear in my closet, and this whole day is starting to really stress me out,” you pause and breathe. Yes, that’s right. Breathe. In and out, in and out, noticing the air as it expands your lungs and the sensation of cool air on your skin from the exhale. Stop, breathe and feel – that’s it.

As you hit the pause break, you gain some distance from your emotions. Instead of falling into the story of how this incident will ruin our day, we step back and look at ourselves with detachment, neutrality and even a little amusement.

Amusement is a very light and playful energy. It’s a great tool to help us move from a grumbly state of mind to one of appreciation, joy and ease. Amusement allows us to ask, to wonder why, and to move into a state of acceptance of things just the way they are, without drama.

It could be that the spilled coffee is letting us know that we are not grounded and that we may be allowing other peoples’ energies to enter our space. It could be that we’ve taken on too many obligations and shoulds from other people and haven’t had time to notice that the coffee cup was teetering on the edge of the counter.
Standing back from the situation and looking at it with neutrality and awareness has a tremendous impact on the quality of our experience.

As we hit the pause button and breathe, we stop to ask ourselves, “How am I doing? What’s going on here?” If we settle ourselves down by centering and grounding to the earth, it will allow us to take a breath and see the situation from a different perspective.

This is living mindfully. Being present to whatever comes up and dealing with it in a nonjudgmental manner.

Join us in learning more and delving deeper. Twice a month I send out exclusive information, not covered here on the blog, about how to grow your intuition and live a life full of purpose and meaning. We delve into the month’s topic in a deeper way, and I always include a special meditation designed around the topic at hand. Find your true path to a life of prosperity and abundance. Join Us!