This month I’m celebrating the release of my book, Tame Your Inner Critic Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life On Purpose. The following is an excerpt that focuses on the relationship we have with ourselves and how that is mirrored back to us by the interactions we have with our closest family members.
The people in our lives, especially those closest to us, are our mirrors. Through the prism of their actions and our reactions, we view ourselves. Your spouse is kind because you have kindness in you. Your brother-in-law pushes your buttons when he is bossy because you attracted the lesson of learning to express your own feelings and not be trampled by someone else’s views. Each person in your life is here for a reason. Your daughter’s rebelliousness is an opportunity to test your own need to be in control. She is your mirror. The lesson is within you. The opportunity to grow is yours. Will you take it?
Maybe you realize that your sister is one of your mirrors, but you are still a little unsure of the exact nature of the lesson. After some reflection, you realize that your sister pushes your invalidation button. You are not being heard. You feel her judgment and criticism, and you react by getting rebellious and stubborn. You know that your reaction is out of proportion to the situation. You are triggered emotionally, and you lash out in a way that feels right in the moment, but deep down in your gut, you know that you are acting like a five year old.
Own it. Own the childishness. Own your own reaction. This is not about what your sister said or did to push your button. The next time this happens, remember that space between stimulus and response. Pause and consider how you would like to react. Consider how she is mirroring back to you a quality that is challenging to you.
Choose to stay out of drama, to stay out of the story of why she caused you to react this way. Decide what attitude you will bring to this situation. Deal with this from a place of compassion as you work to uncover the clues to one of your major lessons.
If you find yourself standing toe to toe in the midst of a heated exchange, pause and use some of your tools to diffuse the situation and get yourself back into alignment with who-you-really-are. You could check your grounding cord. Then make sure your aura is filled with your own energy and is surrounded with a protection bubble, preventing your sister’s energy from invading your space. You could blow up a rose, sending invalidation, anger, and stubbornness out of your aura. You could watch those energies leave your system. You might see the colors of anger at not being heard fill up the rose. And finally, you could ask the golden sun to gather all the scattered parts of you—maybe you left some in your sister’s space—and return that energy to you. As you pop that sun and replenish your body and aura with your own essence, be sure to give yourself lots of encouragement and validation for actually using your tools in the middle of a heated discussion. High five yourself. Bring some amusement into your aura. Feel nurtured and at peace.
Later on, you could do a tapping exercise, telling the story of this argument until you feel a bodily shift, releasing the last remnants of any emotional charge. Whatever tool you use, spend time being kind to yourself, because this is a lesson, and your sister is one of your strongest mirrors. Be amused and learn what this interaction had to teach you.
If you’ve enjoyed this excerpt from the book, I hope you will consider adding it to your must-read list. And I hope you will share this post with a friend or two! Many blessings to you – from my heart to yours.