How To Tame Your Inner Critic Archives

Interview with Spiritual Media Blog

22 October, 2015 — Posted in: How To Tame Your Inner Critic Leave a Comment

Interview with Spiritual Media Blog on Tame Your Inner Critic

Below is a Q&A with Della Temple, author of Tame Your Inner Critic: Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose

1. Your title talks about two important things – taming the inner critic and finding and living a life of purpose and meaning. Tell me more about why you choose to write about these topics.

My inner critic used to pretty much run my life. It held me back from doing many of the things I really wanted to do. It told me I was too unprepared, too opinionated, and just not good enough. In fact, I had grown so used to the incessant negativity that I really believed I was deficient in some way.

I had read about the body’s energy system and had a hunch that greater understanding of auras, chakras, and the interplay between thoughts, feelings, and bodily reactions would lead to the peace and contentment I craved. So I enrolled in a beginner’s program at Boulder Psychic Institute. As I did the work, my inner critic stopped nagging me. I wanted to write about my experience to help others find their own inner peace and contentment.

The first half of this book contains techniques designed to get your inner critic under control. The second half of the book concentrates on how to live a life full of meaning and joy. And finally, in the last chapter, the reader will put all the pieces together to discover their true life purpose and how to share that gift with the world.

2. Your book is full of exercises and meditations. Why did you choose this format?

For me, the best way of learning is through practice. So I wrote the book as more of a working handbook with tools, meditations, and thought-provoking exercises intended to get the creative juices flowing. I suggest that the reader set aside a quiet place to do the meditations and exercises in each chapter. They may choose to record their progress in a journal, or they may find the Tame Your Inner Critic Workbook helpful. Either way, I encourage the reader to take their time as they walk this path of discovery. The journey itself can be just as transformational as the final destination.

3. Most of us have tried to tame our inner voice at one time or another. What did you find worked for you?

Thoughts and feelings are energy and through our energetic body, (our aura and chakras) we exchange energy (thoughts, feelings and emotions) with the people in our lives. As an example, when we think of someone, we transmit some of our energy from our aura into theirs. When a parent worries about a child, they may be sending a mixture of love, concern, and judgment energy into their child’s aura. A boss or a co-worker may send us a little bit of criticism energy mixed in with their morning hello. These outside energies combine with our own internal truths. Soon we are unable to tell one from the other, so we accept it all, as a right, accurate and exact portrayal of who we truly are. This I believe is the genesis of the inner critic. The judgments, criticisms and displeasure we feel about ourselves is energy we’ve unconsciously absorbed from the people in our lives.

4. How then do you remove this energy that we’ve absorbed from others?

There are many fun ways to remove the thoughts and feeling of other people from your space. In fact, energy is fairly easy to move once you recognize it and choose to get rid of it. Grounding to the earth, filling in with energies more in alignment with your true essence, blowing it up, or tapping it out, are all techniques that are explained more fully in the book.

5. You’ve incorporated a lot of information in this book. What do you hope your readers take away from Tame Your Inner Critic?

I call reading this book a journey of discovery – uncovering clues to who you truly are and the gift you are meant to share with the world. Often the inner critic stops us from exploring those parts of ourselves. The inner critic tries to keep us small, corralled in the world of “have to” and “shoulds”. But we are much more. We are spiritual beings inhabiting a physical body, and I hope the reader comes away feeling inspired to live their life their way, full of inner peace, grace, and self-love.

6. Where can I get your book and workbook?

Amazon, of course, plus Barnes & Noble, Books a Million and many other online outlets carry the book. Or you can call your local bookstore and ask them to order it.

Intimacy: Into Me See

30 September, 2015 — Posted in: How To Tame Your Inner Critic Leave a Comment

365896495_d8d620ed2c_z How does your body respond when you hear the word intimacy? Are you tight and guarded? Did your body tense up? Could you feel your heart close down, and your belly tighten up?

Intimacy is a delicate internal dance of vulnerability and inner strength. When you see yourself clearly and know yourself well, you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. This level of internal intimacy allows you to move towards allowing others to see the full you; into me see.

One of the hardest lessons for me has been to like all parts of me – my body and my personality. There’s always something wrong – a lumpy bumpy part that I’m ashamed of, or a jiggly, wiggly part that I hide. I’m not well versed in showing anger or displeasure, and I often hide my darker feelings under a cover of socially acceptable platitudes and niceties. I don’t know how to be me all day, every day.

During the past month, we’ve been talking about havingness: our ability to be comfortable with our present circumstances while simultaneously knowing that we can have more. If we are in resistance to our present circumstance, we vibrate at a frequency of not enough or less than, and from this frequency we magnetize to us matching energies. While we vibrate in resistance to what is, it’s hard to take a step towards something new, in this case, liking all parts of me. And of course, it’s difficult to be intimate, to fully appreciate anyone else if you can’t appreciate yourself!

So, I practice being me – fully. I consciously work at accepting all parts of me, even those secret parts that I hide from view. I use my tools often to remove the stories of me not liking me. I tap it out, befriend it, blow up a rose. As I blow up the stories of not good enough, less than, not pretty enough, not prepared enough, I give myself permission to be accept and like all parts of me.

One of my favorite exercises is the mirror exercise. It really helps me learn to relax and allow me to see me.

The Eyes are Mirrors to the Soul

Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. Look deep, look for a long time. What do you see? Do you see your soul?
Now become aware of your internal dialog. Cast aside the negativity and find one thing that you can admire about your body or your personality. Concentrate on that as you continue to look deeply at yourself.
Drink it in. Become enamored with you! You are a child of God. Find that spark of pure awareness locked deep within your soul and say hello to it. Recognize it. That’s all. Just say, “Hi, I see you.”
That’s all you have to do. Now put the mirror away and remember what you saw. Carry it with you for the rest of your day. Accept that you are just right the way you are, and that your soul knows more than your mind will allow about your beauty and your uniqueness.

As you come to know and love yourself, you will emit vibrations, thoughts and feelings that will magnetize to you people and events that are in alignment with the truest, deepest level of your Spirit. This is real intimacy, seeing each other in present time and communicating with each other in present time, without judgment or prejudice. Just as it is, right here, right now.

Thanks for being a part of this journey of discovery – finding ways to live our lives on purpose and in a meaningful way. If this post resonated with you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps me reach more people who crave support in being as kind to themselves as they are to others. So glad you’re here!

Make the Law of Attraction Work For You – Not Against You

25 September, 2015 — Posted in: How To Tame Your Inner Critic Leave a Comment

19977923418_3c3832a04e_z Havingness is this dual state of accepting all that is while wanting more. If we want more from a position of striving or craving – that’s lack. Instead, if we want more from a state of knowingness – believing with all of our heart and mind that the world is an abundant place, and we are worthy of greatness, that’s high havingness.

It took me a long time to understand this fully. Striving, craving, going after all that we want is the American way of life. It’s all about doing, with very little emphasis on the being. Being worthy, being present, being prosperous, even if the outward signs are not there. That is the state of havingness. And as we are something, we will magnetize to us events, people and circumstances that vibrate at that same frequency.

This came home to me as I sat in meditation today. My state of havingness is low right now. A project that I’m working on is not moving forward with the enthusiasm and steam I had hoped for. It’s languishing. Maybe the time isn’t right – maybe next month will be better– maybe it will never soar.

As I sat in meditation and contemplated this, I came to the realization that part of the definition of havingness is accepting all parts of your life as they are, without exception. I realized that I was trying to push the river. I was striving, craving, pushing after something instead of allowing, accepting and being something first. And as we know, one of the universal laws is that like attracts like. If I feel frustrated, pinned down, impatient and angry, then those are the vibrations that I’m sending out to the Universe right now. And of course, the Universe will bring me more of the same – (the Law of Attraction works – although sometimes not the way we want!)

I remembered back to the story of the Carrot Seed. I thought about the little boy who watered his carrot seed full of faith and knowingness, even when others expressed their doubts. I explored the feeling deep within my soul of unworthiness. I blew a ton of roses for pushing instead of allowing. I filled myself in with validation, acceptance, and excitement. I filled myself in with anticipation of what’s to come. Yes, I can ‘have” my current state of life without exception and at the same time want more.

Look around you – at your home, your friends, your money situation, and your job. This is the current state of your havingness. Don’t judge it as not being good enough or wrong. Instead, acknowledge where you are, and then choose to be something else. That’s the miracle – that’s the journey. Use your energy tools to change it up. Get to the bottom of your issue, and then choose to see it differently.

We don’t manifest what we desire; we manifest who or what we are. The being state is the most important factor in how we manifest the life of our dreams. It is all about be-ing. The do-ing, the active part will show up as a result of the way you think and feel.

What You Resist, Persists

20 September, 2015 — Posted in: How To Tame Your Inner Critic Leave a Comment

244870161_2a9468bb74_z Living a life full of purpose and meaning is a process of coming to terms with life as it is, not as you wish it to be. This is the state of havingness. Being in havingness is accepting, with gratitude, the fullness of your life, just as it is, right here, right now, including the not so good parts.

Can you “have” your current life, with all its up and downs, or are you resisting it?

Resistance is a sign of pulling away, of not accepting what is. And in this act of separating from what is, we sometimes fall into the energy of drama and victimhood.

As an example, as we drive to work each morning we think, “I hate my job, I hate my boss. I am angry, and I don’t want to go to work.” Grumble, grumble, grumble. As we think these thoughts, we are sending out the vibration of “I’m not happy now, I don’t have peace of mind now, and I’m not in joy today.” We cannot have our current state of affairs which is being in a tug of war with our boss and our job. We are in resistance to it, and what we know for sure is what we resist, persists.

Resistance shows up when you feel that pull to dig in your heels and stubbornly refuse to budge. The energy of resistance acts like glue keeping us stuck in place, preventing us from moving on. So how do we move out of resistance? How do we move into the energy of accepting what is and let go of the anger, resentment, and hostility?

One of the easiest ways of moving out these low-level energies is by using your energy tools. Ground out that stubbornness, smash your anger to smithereens, blow up a rose for victimhood. And after all of that, fill in with a golden sun of gratitude, acceptance and detachment.

We are not our circumstances! And once we can separate from what is happening to us, we begin to move into the energy of “havingness”; accepting what is while wanting more.

In the example above, your boss has not changed at all, but you, in your neutral state of detachment, have shifted your perspective. Your attitude is different. Instead of being angry and bitter, which has a lower vibration, you’ve shifted your emotions to the higher vibrational frequency of allowance and appreciation. You have removed yourself from the drama, and through neutrality, you can stand back and look at the circumstances in a completely new light.

You may find that you can accept your boss just the way she is, without judgment or criticism. You may not condone her behaviors and you may not even like her – but you can accept her exactly as she is, with neutrality. That is moving from resistance to acceptance. That is havingness.

I hope you will consider adding Tame Your Inner Critic to your must-read list. There are over 40 exercises and meditations that help you bust through resistance so you may claim what’s rightfully yours – a life full of peace, inner contentment and happiness.

Uncovering A Limiting Belief

15 September, 2015 — Posted in: How To Tame Your Inner Critic Leave a Comment

This month we’re looking at the concept of havingness: being comfortable and accepting of all parts of your life while at the same time wanting more.

We know there are universal laws that are in play on the planet. One of the most familiar universal laws is the Law of Attraction, or that unto itself shall be drawn; like attracts like. You are a gigantic magnet drawing into your reality all the thoughts, feelings, events, and people that are in alignment with your essence. If you hold the belief that the world is a rotten place, you will find yourself surrounded by rotten circumstances. If you believe that you are not worthy of love, you will draw to you people and events that resonate with that frequency of unworthiness.

The beliefs we hold are the foundation of our havingness. To move up to a higher level of havingness, we may need to examine some of our foundational beliefs. As an example, one of my friends had the goal of finishing her Ph.D. thesis this year. She had been struggling with the final wrap up for about three months, and really could not understand why it was taking her so long. She did the Tapping Exercise and tapped out her story of worry and anxiety. What came to her while her tapping session is the following:

“If I look deeply within, I can see that I’m afraid of finishing. I keep procrastinating because I like being in school. It’s comfortable. I know what’s expected of me. Getting a job, even with an advanced degree, means that I will be starting a new chapter of my life. New people, new expectations, new ways of being. School is comfortable, the work world is not.”

She remembered her mother praising her good grades, filling her with words of validation and self-worth. She also remembered her mother dragging in the door after a long day of work, looking tired and beaten. She was able to see that what was holding her back was her limiting belief that the work world was not a comfortable place. Most importantly, she realized that just because her mother had this experience did not mean that her experience would be the same.

She tapped out her mother’s feelings and tapped in new feelings of excitement, self-validation, and reward. She uncovered the belief that was holding her back. By changing that belief, new thoughts, and new vibrations were magnetized into her space. She removed a limiting belief and increased her ability to “have” her goal of finishing school.

What belief is holding you back? Tap on it, write about it, meditate, blow up a rose and increase your level of havingness.

Learn more about tapping in the book, Tame Your Inner Critic Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose. There’s a great workbook too that is a great way to have fun as you do the exercises of tapping, blowing up a rose and other fantastic energy tools. And as always, thanks for being a part of this journey of discovery – finding ways to live our lives on purpose and in a meaningful way. If this post resonated with you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps me reach more people who crave support in being as kind to themselves as they are to others.

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