“Our true self is not defined by the boundaries of our body. It is unlimited in space & time”. Deepak Chopra
I am on a journey that has no defined path right now. It is the walking of the path that carries the importance, and so I take one step each day.
Our son died at the age of 29. Two weeks have passed since that fatal knock on the door that no mom ever wants to answer. The coroner came calling to tell us that Rick died in a solo car accident on a stretch of mountain road that he knew so well. There’s no cell service in the canyon where he died, so he wasn’t trying to text and drive. It was the middle of a lovely sun-filled Sunday afternoon, so he didn’t get distracted by oncoming headlights, or a deer. He just swerved and hit a tree head-on. That was that. He died instantly.
Rick has left the boundaries of his body. I have not. He is in unlimited space and time. I am not.
I deal with this minute to minute, day by day; sometimes.
Grief is very different for different people. For me it’s a hologram – all happening at once. Grief, sorrow, serenity, acceptance, love, joy, rebirth, acknowledgment of eternity, out of body presence. Yet through it all I feel a deep hole in my spirit. I know it will never be filled again.
I am introspective, yet reaching out to heal those around me. I turn away from the dark void. I will not go there. I have been to the edge, looked in and turned away. I will turn away again.
I choose my own reality and I choose love, light and happiness.