Choosing Your Own Reality Archives

Forgiveness: The Blue Room Meditation

14 February, 2015 — Posted in: Choosing Your Own Reality 2 Comments

One of the most powerful ways of sending love to someone is through the energy of forgiveness. For-giving-space. Forgiveness is about giving space to the people in your life, as well as to you. It is not about condoning behavior; it is about acceptance—that is all.

This excerpt from Tame Your Inner Critic Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life on Purpose includes one of the most powerful meditations I’ve ever come across. I share this with you, today, the day of hearts and flowers, as a reminder that the energy of love is one of the most powerful healing energies on this planet. (This excerpt also appeared as a post in October 2014.)

Forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons to learn. It requires you to look at your world with gentleness, patience, and understanding. Here, you stand apart from value statements, judgments, condemnations, and expectations. You give space to those around you to be, just as they are, right here, and right now. In addition, you give space to yourself to be just who you are at this moment.

If you are ready to take a step into this energy of forgiveness, then before you begin the meditation, think of someone who stirs up lots of emotions and feelings for you. You are ready to give this person space to be exactly who they are, but there’s a lot of resistance energy running through your body.

The Blue Room Meditation of Forgiveness

1.    Sit in a comfortable chair in a room where you will not be disturbed. Close your eyes and take some deep, cleansing breaths, bringing all of your awareness to the energy surrounding you. Intend for the energy of peace and calm to envelop you in a cocoon of safety and acceptance.
2.    Bathe your throat in sky-blue energy. Imagine your throat relaxing so that you will be able to communicate all your thoughts and emotions, completely and clearly.
3.    Now, visualize sitting in a room filled with this same expansive blue energy. The walls are blue; the floor is blue, and the air surrounding you is tinted blue. You are sitting in one chair, and there is another chair directly across from you. See that chair. Notice any sensations that arise in your body. Acknowledge those sensations, breathe, and intend to remain in a calm, neutral vibration.
4.    The person you would like to forgive will soon occupy that empty chair. Notice any feelings of resentment or stories about the hurts and humiliations that arise in your body. Stop for a moment and ask those feelings to leave your space. Feel calm, clear, and ready to move on. Take as long as you need to clear the emotions and return to a neutral state of being.
5.    When you are ready, see the person come into this blue room and sit across from you in the empty chair. Notice if he or she feels a little apprehensive or scared. Maybe they hesitate before taking the seat. Maybe there’s a scowl on their face, or their fists are clenched.
6.    Notice how you feel as you watch this person. If you observe some sensations arising in your body, then stop and assess. Imagine those thoughts, feelings, and sensations draining down to the center of the earth. Intend for your body to be relaxed and for the words to flow easily from your throat.
7.    Now speak to this person about what is on your mind. Say it all. Tell them how you feel. Feel yourself communicating every single bit of information that you want to share.
8.    Then repeat the following phrases aloud:
•    I forgive myself, and I forgive you (say their name) for any past wrongdoings and words said in haste or with malice.
•    I forgive myself, and I forgive you (say their name) for any and all hurts.
•    I look at myself, and I look at you (say their name) with eyes full of compassion and understanding.
•    I value myself, with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, and I value you (say their name) with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies.
•    I give myself space to be who I was meant to be, and I give you (say their name) space to be who you were meant to be.
•    I love myself, and I love you (say their name).
9.    After repeating these phrases, allow the other person a chance to speak. Hear all that he or she has to say to you. Maybe they will share something that will surprise you.
10.    When you feel complete, see the other person rise from the chair and leave the room. Sit for a moment in silence and feel this blue room filled with compassion and grace. Allow yourself a moment or two of validation. Then open your eyes and come out of meditation.

For Giving Space. Allowance. Non-judgment. Compassion. Grace. Give others the space to be, and they will give you the space to be who-you-really-are.

If you’ve enjoyed this excerpt from the book, I hope you will consider adding it to your must-read list. And I hope you will share this post with a friend or two! Many blessings to you – from my heart to yours.

Lack or Plenty – What Will You Choose in 2015?

25 January, 2015 — Posted in: Choosing Your Own Reality Leave a Comment

Abundance is our natural state. It expresses itself by creating plenty of whatever our energy is focused upon. So the question becomes, “What type of abundance do you have?”

Are you experiencing an abundance of plenty, or an abundance of lack? Like attracts like. Whatever you focus on is drawn into your experience. Look around you. If you are experiencing lack of money, lack of time, lack of happiness, then it’s time to think about learning new ways, new techniques; shifting your abundance to a state of plenty.

One of the Universal Laws is that life is a flow of giving and receiving. There is a rhythm, an ebb and flow to everything. When you give positively of your time, your energy, your knowledge or your money, it will come back to you multiplied. If you are in a state of lack, you are coming from a space of restriction and inhibiting the flow. The universe always mirrors back to you whatever you do, so become conscious of what you are thinking and feeling and doing.

Give what you want to receive. If you want love, give love. If you want more time in your life, then give your time to an organization whose mission is in alignment with your passion. If you want to receive more money, then give money to others.

Give in joy, give freely, and give from a space of abundance and joy. One way of doing this is to tithe. Tithing is not always religious in nature. Think about giving to an organization that adds to your spiritual growth in some way. It could be that a charity doing important work in your community calls out to you. Or it could be to some organization that offers help to those in need worldwide. Whatever, wherever, you are drawn, that is the important piece; give there. Tithe in the spirit of freedom and gratitude without an expectation of receiving anything in return from that particular organization.

It doesn’t matter the amount of your gift; it is the intent that matters. You will receive back the same energy in which you sent your tithe. So be clear of intent when you write out your check. Be happy, be grateful. Be in a state of appreciation.

And keep the flow going. When you set up a regular schedule of giving, you are in a constant flow, and there is no stagnation. When you give only large amounts now and then, you will be in stagnation during periods where you are not giving. That returns you to a state of lack. So give from an abundant heart and keep the energy clear and free of negativity or thoughts of lack.

Tithing regularly, from a space of gratefulness and plenty, brings you into a state of prosperity. That feeling of ease; a knowingness deep within that through the act of giving to others, YOU are adding light to the planet. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

In a few short weeks (February 8th to be exact) the book, Tame Your Inner Critic Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life On Purpose will be released. Here’s the link if you wish to preorder.

And…I would be honored if you would share the news with your friends and family.

Butterflies and Mahatma Gandhi

20 January, 2015 — Posted in: Choosing Your Own Reality Leave a Comment

Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi.

What a great mantra for 2015! Be the change you wish to see in the world. Not do the change – BE the change.

Is it possible for one person’s attitude, one person’s “be-ingness” to affect the world?

Yes, I believe it is.

For me, I would like the world to be a kinder, less violent place. I would like to live in a world where people smile more than they frown, where they listen more than they talk, and where they care for one another.

These are big, ambitious, and some would say unrealistic, desires. How in the world can I, as one lone person, make this a kinder, gentler planet?

By starting with myself; by being the change I wish to see.

We know from our work together that thoughts and feelings are energy, and that energy is in motion. Thoughts travel from one person to the next, to the next, to the next. In quantum physics it’s called the butterfly effect. It’s a metaphor often used to describe how the smallest of motions, like a butterfly batting its wings, can have a much larger affect on a distant part of the same complex system. (see Chaos Theory and Edward Lorenz https://www.exploratorium.edu/complexity/CompLexicon/lorenz.html)

My thoughts travel out as energy into the world. These small vibrations of thought can have a much larger impact elsewhere on the earth. Just like the butterfly flapping its wings, my simple thoughts of peace, contentment and my wish for a kinder, gentler planet ripple throughout the world. As I interact with people in my community and beyond, I send out waves of kind and gentle energy that others can feel, and interact with. And as my friends are surrounded by kind and gentle energies, they too send out waves of kindness and gentleness to others – and the ripple grows wider and wider.

Think how the world would be if more and more of us lived by Gandhi’s words.

My desire for 2015 is to be the change I wish to see. What about you?

In a few short weeks (February 8th to be exact) the book, Tame Your Inner Critic Find Peace & Contentment to Live Your Life On Purpose will be released. Here’s the link if you wish to pre-order.

And…I would be honored if you would share the news with your friends and family.

Choose Differently: It’s As Easy As That

10 January, 2015 — Posted in: Choosing Your Own Reality Leave a Comment

Thoughts turn into words. Words turn into beliefs. Beliefs turn into actions and choices. So it really is true: what you think and feel you will be.

Take a look around you. Ask yourself the question: “Who am I today and who do I want to be tomorrow?”

Then, choose differently. It’s as easy as that.

Choose one thought over another, consciously.

Choose to believe that people are essentially caring, thoughtful, kind and generous.

Choose to see the good.

Choose to hear the positive intent behind a questionable statement.

Choose to stand apart from judgment and allow others to be just as they are, right here, right now.

As you choose differently, your responses will be different too. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, author Viktor Frankl writes, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Imprisoned for three years in Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps during World War II, Frankl found that he had a choice. He could succumb to the energy surrounding him, or he could choose his own thoughts and feelings. I don’t think he knew about grounding cords, auras, or thought forms, yet he saw that his power came from the way he responded to his surroundings. He did not allow his imprisonment to imprison him; he sought freedom and peace within.

Frankl’s thoughts and feelings determined his reality. It’s not that the concentration camp didn’t exist; of course it did. However, he did not succumb to the horror of his surroundings. He found a way to allow his surroundings to exist without being dragged into its bowels. He lived. He wrote. He inspired. He understood that our time in that space between stimulus and response holds our power.

You get to choose. Your life is what you make of it. There is a gap, maybe a nanosecond or two, but still a gap, between the feelings of anger, resentment, or frustration and your reaction to that feeling. See if you can sense that gap. Therein lies your power.

Exercise: Finding Your Space between Stimulus and Response

Next time you are ready to explode with an emotion, sit in solitude, and go within. Find a quiet, meditative spot and take some deep breaths.
Write about your situation and the emotions you are feeling. Write until your fingers are cramped and your heart is empty. Write it all out, in graphic detail. Get every bit of your anger, your frustration, and your disappointment out of your system.
When you feel complete, don’t re-read what you wrote. That will only return the strong emotion to your body. Just sit with it. Close your eyes.
Feel into your body. Sense your body’s quietness, its peace, its calmness.
Now hit the delete button and watch as all those words vanish from your computer screen. If you’ve written this out by hand, then tear the paper into little bits and throw them away.
Sit in solitude for a moment longer. Let your body become quiet. Take a few deep breaths. Imagine a column of golden light entering the top of your head and filling you in with peace, tranquility and ease.
Now, choose your response – consciously. From this space of quiet and peace, look at the situation with new eyes. See it for what it is, not for what you want it to be, or what you think it should be. Give the situation permission to be just as it is. As you do this, you give yourself permission to choose your response.

[END EXERCISE]

Make 2015 a year of conscious choice.

So glad you’re here! If this post resonated with you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps me reach more people who crave support in being as kind to themselves as they are to others.

Gratitude Not Attitude

5 January, 2015 — Posted in: Choosing Your Own Reality Leave a Comment

Welcome to a new year. January is always a time of new beginnings, new journeys, and new adventures. Oftentimes though we start out on the wrong foot.

Does this sound familiar?

“I can’t believe I ate all those Christmas cookies! It’s January and I must, must, must, lose five pounds, right now!”

“OMG, it’s 2015 and I haven’t found my soul-mate! What’s wrong with me?”

“Wow! How did I spend so much money last month? That was stupid! Every year I do the same thing. When am I going to get anything right?

Has your inner critic gotten the upper hand over the holidays? Are you filled with thoughts of should have done, must do now, and what in the world got into me? Are you beating yourself up over some small misadventure?

Oftentimes the holidays are filled with unmet expectations and comparison energy. Family dynamics often make for a stress filled couple of weeks. And then January hits and we wonder why – why we reacted to Uncle Bob’s comment, why we said yes when we really meant no – you get the idea.

Instead, of rehashing all the old wounds and hurts from the past year, let’s start out again – on a different foot, so to speak.

Take a deep breath. Right here, right now.

Stop and breathe.

Allow all the hurts, the unmet desires, the disappointments of 2014 drop away.

Remember that what we think and feel we will be. Our thoughts are really powerful magnets calling back to us energies of the same vibration family. Let’s start 2015 in a state of gratitude for all that went well this past year. The following quick exercise will help you remember what’s important in your life, allowing the rest to drift away.

Exercise: Gratitude Not Attitude

List the top 3 things you are most grateful for in 2014. Think of those people, events, or opportunities that were game-changers for you.
Look at them. Are there any themes or patterns? If you had a theme for the year, how did it play out? Were you acting in accordance with what you declared mattered?

Taking this time for reflection helps you to focus on the higher vibrational energies of love, compassion and gratitude. Celebrate and revel in the good.

P.S. I did this exercise yesterday morning myself. (I was in a grumbly mood about the holidays so I sat down and refocused my energies). Here’s my list:

The Top 3 Things I am Most Grateful for in 2014

1. All the wonderful people that are helping me birth my book. From my close family and friends to those that I’ve only recently met – I am filled with gratitude and love for all their help and encouragement.

2. The internet! Isn’t it marvelous to keep in touch with friends through the power of Facebook, Google Chat and Wi-Fi? Love, love, love the “reach out and touch” ability of the 21st century.

3. My close circle of psychic friends. It’s so wonderful to have a group of buddies who are always eager to trade readings. I’m in awe (still!) about how much baggage we can let go of by clearing the energy channels in the body and aura.

My theme this past year has been Community. Here in Hana, back in Colorado, and through the internet, I’m grateful to be surrounded with people who are loving, considerate and willing to help me reach my goals and desires. Thank you one and all from the bottom of my heart!

Now it’s your turn – Comment below or send me your lists (della at dellatemple.com) and I will publish a few on Facebook and Google (minus names and other identifiers of course!)

Gratitude not Attitude – a great way to start the new year.

Thank you, dear reader, for being a part of my life. If this post resonated with you, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps me reach more people who crave support in being as kind to themselves as they are to others.

So glad you’re here!

Let’s make 2015 a year of Gratitude.