Everyone has a “story” of the way life is supposed to be. The story goes something like this: First I do this, then I do that, then I am happy ever after, or at least happy for a day. The story changes from person to person, but it’s always about the way it’s supposed to be, or the way you are supposed to be. When life turns on you, and it will, and is nothing like you thought it was going to be, it’s time to blow a rose.
In my case, I truly believed that my son would live a full and wonderful life. When he died, that story was proven false. He couldn’t live this wonderful life I had planned for him in my mind – a wife, children, a great career, barbequing with his friends, watching CU football with us, cheering on the Avs. That all went away. It didn’t exist. It never really did exist – except in my mind. It was my story of what his life would be like. You could have other stories floating around in your head. They don’t have to be so big and profound. The technique works on all your stories – big or small, important and life-changing or small and inconsequential. When you discover something that is no longer true for you, it’s time to blow a rose.
Blowing a rose is a simple technique. Close your eyes and imagine a rose out in front of your body. It can be any color, any shape, and any size. In this rose is a giant magnet that is pointing back to you. Now think of the story that is no longer true for you. Acknowledge that the story is false and ask the magnet to draw your story to it. Watch as each piece of your story leaves your body and moves into the rose. Watch the streams of color as they leave your heart, your throat, your mind, and move into the rose. Watch the rose grow bigger and bigger as the story takes up residence in the rose. Feel yourself growing lighter and lighter as all this “excess baggage” leaves your energy field and moves into the rose. When you’ve collected up as much of that story as you can, then blow up that rose! Watch it disintegrate and feel the story disintegrate too.
Defusing the power of the story allows you to return to the present, the now, the current situation, without the baggage of what could have been, should have been or wasn’t meant to be. It’s allowed me to look at Rick’s death from a new perspective. It’s not about what could have been. I’m not mourning that any longer. It’s about WHAT IS – right here, right now. “Could-a, should-a, would-a” are no longer a part of my vocabulary. I still feel the pain, but it’s a pain of missing him right here, right now. It’s not about all the future things that will not be.
So blow a rose and get back to life as it exists right now. That is what is so important.